Monday, July 27, 2009

Green Eyed Monster

Did you ever have one of those days where jealousy rears its ugly head no matter what. Yeah that is me today.

I'm not sure why, But I'm feeling that pang everywhere I turn today. A coworker one of the 4 girls who work here gets treated "more like the guys" then myself and the 2 others. This shouldn't bother me but it does. I've always been the girl who doesn't want to be left out just because I'm a girl and now she is getting that treatment, me not so much.

It really should not bother me this much, after all this girl and me are friends. But really it's not her fault so I really cannot blame her. She gets to leave early to play sports with one of the owners, I get to leave early to watch his kid. She gets to go away to a convention, I never even get asked if I would like to participate. She gets all the perks of charity events with our local sports stars when they have extra tickets, I have been asked once in my 3yrs here and unfortunately that one time I had tickets to another concert, so I could not go.

I guess im also a little jealous of everyone else. I really don't know how everyone can afford to go on vacaction and going out every night. After I pay my bills and buy food for the week, I'll be lucky if I get through the week with any $$ left at all. That is with myself and Damien's Check. What am I doing wrong with my life that I can't even afford to go to the movies while other people can take a week off and go anywhere they want?

I'm sure this will all pass tommrow, but today I just feel like a horriable person. I should'nt be mad because other are able to save better then me. I should'nt be jealous of what they have, I should be happy with what I have. But at the moment it doesnt seem like much. I'm making all too much of these feelings today and trying my best to not let them show, even though at the moment for some reason all I want to do is cry.

Tommrow is another day, and will be better hopefully this Green Eyed Monster will go away, I really have no time for him today, or ever really! Who does?

Shelly <3

1 comment:

  1. Awww... ((hugs))

    Sometimes, you can't see the hideous debt of the people you are jealous of, or their horrible home lives. SOMEtimes, though, it just isn't fair and they have it easier.

    I hate that too!